Ok, so *NOW* I’m back.

I actually was live blogging the night that I made my last post, but I went to publish it and BOOM! it was gone.

 At any rate, I know that no one is going to read this since what few readers I had when I was blogging on a regular basis are now long gone, but It makes me feel all tingly inside, so I’m going to try to update here as much as I can.

I’m back to playing donkaments, trying to build a roll from essentially nothing.  I got into homebrewing about a year ago… I never thought I’d find a hobby that would consume me more than poker but I did.  If anyone is interested in making their own beer, let me know and I can get you some good information.

So like I said, I’m playing donkaments until I can build a bankroll.  Tonight I’m playing in a freaking freeroll with $2 rebuys and a $2 addon on Bodog.  Just after the first hour I’m a bit over $10k.

Blinds are 200/400 and I raise JJ to 1450 from UTG. Player two to my left bumps to 2500 and the player two to his left calls. I think hard about dropping, but the possibility that they both have an Ax hand is pretty good, which makes me a huge favorite. I have 7800 in chips and I decide it’s worth the risk (it’s a donkament afterall). Turns out that the second caller had QQ that held up. I had him covered though, so I’m down to 5.5k.

I get stacked down to 4.4k and I get A9s UTG+1 with the blinds at 300/600. UTG pushes for a few hundred more than I have, I call, and a later player pushes overtop for his 20k. I somehow manage to flop 2 pair against AKo and JJ and take down the pot, with 15k in chips.

The very next hand I get TT in UTG and bump it 3x to 1800. The same dude that pushed his AKo with 20k the previous hand comes overtop with QJo (which is 2 or 3k more than my 15k stack). My TT holds up and I’m up over 30k. 4.5k to 30K in two hands. Not too shabby.

Blinds at 600/1200 and I’m just under 25k and looking at AA in MP. I pop to 4500 and get one caller. The flop comes 2A4 rainbow so I check it. He bets 19k, I intentionally pause for a while and go all-in. His AQ is no match for my set and I’m at 50k in chips.

1k/2k blinds and I get TT in UTG+1. UTG pushes his shortstack and I come overtop for 9k. A player behind me comes overtop for 30k. I decide to wait for a better spot and it turns out I was right. The big raiser had JJ and I would have been toast. 40k left.

A couple of hands later I get AQs on the BB and call a minraise. The board is 289 with 2 diamonds, I check. Raiser bets 10k, I fold.

2k/4k blinds and I get JJ in MP1. I raise to 14k. I get a super shortstack (734) and one other caller. Flop comes 4TJ with two clubs. The second caller pushes the flop with his AJo, I call and I’m up to 92k.

With the blinds still at 2k/4k I raise AJs to 14500 from UTG. BB calls be with his stack of 8k and my AJs holds up against his K8 and I’m at 93k.

Two hands later and I’m on the Button with KK. UTG raised to 8k, it’s folded to me and I make it 24k. He calls and the flop it K8J with 2 clubs. I bet 38k and he folds. My stack is now 123.5k.

Blinds are now 3k/6k and I have 77 UTG. I raise 3x to 18k. I get one caller and a push to 54k. I fold. My first caller had 88, and the guy who pushed at AK. first guy called and lost when an ace flopped. I’m still at 102.5k.

With the blinds at 4k/8k and my stack at just a bit over 89k, I push AKo from MP and get one caller with QQ. I spike a K on the turn and I’m up to 180k.

The next hand I have QJs (clubs) and raise it up to 20k. All fold and I take it down.

The next hand I have QJs (hearts) again and once again raise it up to 20k. I get one caller this time. The flop comes K65 (all hearts), giving me a K high flush so I check. Caller also checks, turn brings 6s. I bet 34k into a 58k pot and he folds. I now have 236k. In retrospect I should have checked here (or bet less) to see if I could get more out of him.

Still at 4k/8k I raise Kd9d to 20k from the SB with the tournament chip leader in the bb.  The flop comes Q82r, he bets 16k, I fold.  223.8k and 34 left out of 5,000.

I push QJs from UTG+1 with the blinds at 6k/12k and a stack of 167.  All fold. 191.4k

6k/12k and  I have AQs in MP.  There’s a push that’s less than the bb and a raise to 24k in front of me and I push.  My AQ hots a Q against 55 and it’s mine.

The next hand I limp KQo and the flop comes 9TJr, giving me a straight.  There’s only one other guy in the hand and he bets 44k into me.  I push and he folds.  297k.

I raise AJo from the button and spike TPTK on the flop that holds up against 2 shorter stacks.  I’m up to 553.5k with the blinds at 8k/16k and 15 people left.  That’s about 15k above average and 200k behind the chip leader.

I check KJo in early position, the BB comes along.  I bet 40k into the flop of A63r and take it down.  585k.

With blinds at 10k/20k I get 55 in MP and raise to 60k – no action.

I have AKo  UTG+1 (6 handed table) and raise it to 70k with the blinds at 10k/20k and get one caller.  The flop comes Th 4c Qc and he bets 100k.  I push, he calls.   The turn brings 8c and the river brings the sweet Jd, giving me the straight.  I’m now the chip leader with a bit over 1 million and 9 players remaining.

I have JJ in the CO 8 handed at the final table and I make it 200k to go.  All fold.

 The very next hand I have TT and call a 200k all in.  His AK hits and I’m at 887k.

Next hand I limp in with 33.  The board comes 6TAr and there’s a 30k bet, I fold.  857k

I managed to get up to $1.1 mm, now I’m back down to 850k, but am the chip leader again.  Nothing of any significance has happened.  Just me making moves and getting busted, or me pushing people off of obvious moves.

I raise KJo 4x to 160k from the button and get no callers.

I call a min raise from MP with ATs and hop TPTK.  I have a min bet in front of me and I min raise.  The turn brings a 3rd heart, but I bet 159k anyway.  I get one caller, hit a set on the river (with 3 hearts on the board) and push –  and of course he has the flush and I’m down to 175k.  I’m an idiot…

Back from break and the blinds are 20k/40k.  I get KQo and push my 168k, no callers.

64o on the big blind with 2 callers in front and I have no choice but to push with 64o.  Of course I have no chance and lose in classic fashion, ending up in 6th place.

Holy crap on a stick!

I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

 Wow, it’s hard to believe that it’s been a bit over a year since my last entry on here.  Things have been a bit hectic, and still are, but I got back into playing on a semi-regular basis a few months ago and figured it was time to get this things started up again.

 I’ll be doing a live blog tomorrow evening during the Bodog $5k Gtd. (and possibly the $10k Gtd if I can donk some cash from a coupel sng’s.

 See ya tomorrow, bitches!

F Stars

It’s amazing to me the beats that I take on Stars compared to other sites.  I have two mtt’s open on Bodog and while I’ve taken my share of bad beats I’m still alive in both of them.  All the while I’ve started up two mtt’s on Stars and sure enough every time that got all my chips in an 80% favorite or better I lost.  I’m sorry, but I’ve seen this enough to conclude that it’s no longer possible that it’s a coincidence or ‘variance’.

 Like I’ve said before, I have never subscribed to the whole ‘onlnie poker is rigged’ theory, but god damn… my game is my game.  I play the same whether I’m playing on Stars or Bodog or Full Tilt.  I seem to somehow always make it fairly deep into mtt’s and win at SnG’s and cach games on every site I play at with the exception of Stars.  Draw from that whatever conclusion you choose.  All I know is that  I have a few measely bucks left on Stars (not enough for me to be able to withdrawal) so I’m going to be playing a couple more tournaments on there tonight ( the $10k Gtd $3.30R and the $5.50 FO) and I can almost guarantee what’s going to happen in both of them. 

Hey Bodog – what the hell is the point of having an Auto Muck button if you’re still going to ask me if I want to much when I check the Auto Muck button?  It’s annoying as shit.

 So far it’s the same old same old.  Get it all in with QQ on a T high board – guy calls me with KT and hits  K on the river, get it all in with a set of Kings on the flop and captain A9 of clubs who calls me with middle pair and an ace kicker hits a runner runner for his flush.  Then of course KK runs into AA, followed by AA loses to 44, followed by 88 losing to 66, flop two pair with Q9( from the BB, overbet the pot) only to have a donkey who knows nothing about odds call me down to the river and hit his straight…  BRILLIANT!

Oh my freaking god… even if I described the ways that I lost tonight I really don’t think that any of my readers would believe it.  It really has been UNBELIEVABLE! (for those of you that watched the Merril vidoes you’ll find the humor in that).  What a piece of shit tonight this was… if there was a way for me to lose, it came.    Time for a break from poker… this shit it just statistically impossible.  I’ve got about 10 more bad beat stories that I didn’t evem list above – just from tonight.  It’s just wrong for one guy to have to endure this much poker pain all in one night.  The poker Gods decided to assrape me tongiht, that’s for sure.

 I did not make one overagressive move that failed all night.  When  went in, I had the best hand – and lost.  Bodog f’ed me too.

Boy did I pick the wrong night to play poker. 

Bodog $3.5k Gtd FT

I battled my way to another final table Friday night in the Bodog 3.5k Gtd ($7.50 entry).  It was a crazy final table, let me tell you.  It took about 1.5 hours to get from 20ish down to 9, but less than 10 minutes to get from 9 down to 3.  Unfortunatley I wasn’t on the receiving end when any of the first 6 players went out, but I had a fighting chance 3 handed.  I had about 150k, another player also had about $150k and the chipleader had over $600k.  I played as agressively as I could, coming overtop of the chipleader’s raises a few times with Ax and pushing any group4 or higher hands when it came to me unopened.  I managed to double up once to get up to about $260k, but a string of crappy hands and re-raises knocked me back down to about $140k pretty quick.  The guy with the similar stack size was to my left and I was leaning on him hard.  I had him down to $80k at one point, but he cracked the chipleader’s KK with QQ to double up.  The very next hand I’m looking down at T9s on the sb, button folds, I’ve got around $130k left, bb has $140k.  I push (blinds were at I believe 5k/10k) and he’s got 99.  No ten comes to save me and I’m out in 3rd for a bit under $400.  The guy that beat me in that hand ended up taking 1st, which was salt in the wound because I knew that If I could get headsup with te CL I had a great chance of taking it down… he was too agressive, but dropped at the slightest hint of resistance. 

Still no mtt wins for me, but I think that makes about 30 or so ft’s and around 10 top 3’s, so I’m pretty pleased with my progress. I’m certainly not thrilled, but I know that if I keep plugging away and working on my game I’ll eventually take one of these things down.

Thursday ramblings

Ya know, some people just shouldn’t play poker.  Or at least they should learn some discipline when they do play poker.  I was playing one table of $10NL and 2 tables of $25NL on Bodog last night and while nothing of any importance happened on either of the $25nl tables (I ended up making about 10bb for the hour long session between the two tables), the guy to my right at the $10nl table is one of those people that I feel would really benefit from review some hand history or possibly reading some books.  

I stacked him early when my kings flopped a set and he called with ATo (second pair).  I then proceeded to stack this guy 5 more times in the course of an hour.  He just kept rebuying.  He was like my own personal ATM machine… it was great. lol  He was still sitting at the table when I left (at that point he’d been stacked by a few others as well), deciding that it was time for bed and time to take my 750bb stack off the table.  Not much in a $10nl game I know, but damn it was fun.

In today’s non-poker related notes…

I have officially seen to much of Britney Spears’ vagina.

[edit: videos below worked fine earlier.  A reader emailed me to tell me that they weren't showing up and I can't for the life of my figure out why... so enjoy them if you can.]

WOWIE KAZOWIE!  This might just be one of the funniest things I have ever watched:

Remember boys and girls, the Salad is the most important food of the um day… because it’s easy to do.  Nothing like kwunching up the lettuce for your salad in leftover chicken parts.

here’s parts 2 and 3.  Instant internet classics  lmao

 That is without a doubt the most scawiestest jewwo mold that I’ve ever seen.  Best Yogi and BooBoo impersonation ever.

2:26 and 3:47 are absolutely hilarious…  and just in case you ever wondered what it sounded like when a mentally challenged guy has an o….. nevermind, you’ll understand when you watch it.   I really wish he hadn’t done that Raquel Welch impersonation right after he told us how to contact him.  Now I’m compulsively calling.

 Then of course there’s one of my all-time favorites – Tourette’s Guy:

Really, how are you supposed to NOT trash your house when a bird gets in?  This is standard.  gg bird.

This is my new poker war cry… AHHHHHHHHHHH BOB SAGET!  Those damn long-legged pissed off puerto-ricans.

Bodog $30k Gtd.

I won some T$ earlier this week on Bodog, so I’m using them plus a bit of cash to play in the $30k Gtd. tonight.  I’m 4 minutes from the first break and the best 3 hands that I’ve seen have been AJo (twice) and pocket 2’s that turned a set on the river at level one and picked me up a whopping pot of 80 chips.  It can’t last forever though, I just have to be patient and play a solid game and hopefully I’ll be able to get up to at least an average stack in the 2nd hour.  If I don’t pick up some hands the first 30 min of the 2nd hour I’m going to have to open up my game and start taking some chances because tourneys on bodog really starting kicking into high gear about that time.

KQs in the bb with blinds at 20/40.  I raise to 160… two callers.  Flop comes QJ4 with two spades.  It’s checked to me and I bet the pot of ~500 and both fold.

I push JJ and get two callers and it holds up to triple me up to over 3k, but I’m still WAY below average.

Next orbit I get 77 and bump it to 900.  Dude comes overtop of me and I know that I’m in a race but I have no choice but to call with my stack.  Flop gives his AK a set with two kings and I’m out.

Next hand I drop 38o on the sb in an unraised pot.  Flop comes 3Q8, checked around,This game it so cruel sometimes.

Raise AT0 from MP, all fold. 

Raise AQo from ep 2 hands later and get two callers.  I check the 23T all spades flop planning on coming overtop if a pot-ish raise in an attempt to steal.  It goes check check and dude comes out with about 1.5x the pot.  I drop.  He had 99 and ended up getting it all in vs. a guy with TJo.  Fuckers calling 4x pfr’s with TJo in mp then calling off half of their stack with 3 spades on the board?  wtf?

I limp J5s from the button.  Flop comes J high rainbow so I bet out the pot (180) and get min-raised.  Min-raises are a real pain in the ass.  When a donkey does it that’s his ‘power move’ and he’s often trying to push you out of a pot with junk… when a solid player does it, he’s practically begging for a call.  I gave this guy the benefit of the doubt and folded.  Much thanks to him for showing me AJ and confirming my suspisions.

30/60 blinds.  359 left out of 556.  I have 2350, average stack is 4600.  I get KTo on the bb and I’m looking at 7 limpers.  For some reason I check it (must have been distracted by porn) and see a K high rainbow flop come.  I bet it, they drop.  I finally take down a pot.

A few hands later, AQo in the CO.  Table chip leader to my left with 14k pops it to 400 (blinds just went up to 50/100).  I really don’t want to get in a pissing match with this guy, as the hands that he’s played to showdown were all solid, so I drop it hoping to find a better spot soon.

I also fire up a SnG.  About the 5th hand into the thing I get QQ and I’m facing a 100 bet (with blinds at 5/10) from a guy in EP.  This SCREAMS that he has a pair lower than mine or AK and is trying to protect his hand with his overbet.  I push, he calls with TT and flops his T.  I’m down to 110 in chips.  I push ATo a couple hands later and get called by K9o and double through.

55 in the sb with an mp raise to 440 in front if me, I decide not to play.  99 or higher and I just flat push there, but not with 55.

I raise 4x with AKs in mp and get 2 callers.  Flop comes Q2T all diamonds (I have spades).  Checked around, turn brings a rag.  Checked around, River brings my A, but it’s a freaking diamond.  I’m not going to make a move on that board and have dome dick with KdX pick me off.  It gets checked down and guy with 66 takes it as he’s the only one with a diamond.

A few hands later it’s AKs again (hearts) from the sb.  I raise 4x to 600, and the bb calls.  Flop comes J4J.  Check, rag, check… river brings 3 spades.  I bet out 400 hoping it will look like a steal and I get minraised.  I think about making a move, but seeing as how this guy has a huge stack and was on the bb I give him credit for the J.  I was right again, he showed J8s.  That doesn’t make you feel better when you’re down to 1175 in chips though… talk about getting cold decked…  I’ve had horrible cards so far, and the few times that I have had hands to play, I totally whiffed.  Ugh.

Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

I haven’t been playing a whole lot of poker since I got my Nintendo Wii.  I only had to wait in like for about 4.5 hours at the local Wal-Mart, thanks to the PS3 release 2 days before I think that most people had their video game fix for the week.  Which was fine by me because I really didn’t want a PS3.  I’m not going to spend $600 on a game console.  I’m a Nintendo guy… old school.  Mario, Samus, Link…. now that’s gaming.

Of course I got The Legend of Zelda:Twilight Princess, and I must say that this game kicks major ass.  I’ve got about 10 hours of total gameplay in and I just started the 2nd temple (ya I know that’s kinda long, but I explore a lot and really take my time with Zelda games).  I was super excited to see how the controls would feel and I must say that they exceed expectations.  You don’t have to swing the wiimote in a full sword swiping action – you just need to move it enough for the sensor bar to know that you’ve moved it.  But is sure is freaking fun to stand in the middle of the room and use the thing like a sword.

I’m not sure how much poker I’ll be playing over the next week or two while I’m immersed in LoZ:TP, but I do plan on playing in a couple of MTT’s on Bodog Friday or Saturday.  I’ve played some SnG’s here and there this week and done very well.  Hopefully that trend continues, which may put the $30k Gtd within my bankroll (I could play it now, but it’s more than 10% of my current br).

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! (I do ask that everyone cheer on my Detroit Lions tomorrow at 12 noon as they continue their pursuit of being the #1 in the NFL (2007 Draft).)

Bodog Final Table

Stars has just been kicking my ass for the last 3 weeks straight.  I’m being 100% honest when I tell you that I have not won a thing in 3 weeks.  No mtt cashes, can’t itm a SnG… $25nl… nope… $25plo.. .nothing there either.

GO BUCKS!

So after I simultaneously flopped TPTK with the nut flush draw and top set with an Ace kicker on the two tables I was playing then proceeded to get my balls smacked by runner runner for a straight and runner runner for a full house (respectively).  I typed ‘FU Lee Jones’ in the chat box at both tables and left.

I opened up a freeroll on Bodog to let off some steam.  It was the $1500 Gtd.  It’s a freeroll, but with $2 rebuys and addons.  It was really weird because hands held up for me all night.  I’d occasionally get sucked out on when I called a push from a shortstack, but all in all I think I played very well and the results showed it. 

standard plays

Here’s some standard plays that have knocked me out of every mtt and SnG that I’ve entered for the last week. I haven’t finished in the money once. I knew I had bad luck, but god damn…  On the bright side, at least I’m not this guy:

 ”Alright, I pretty much have to call this – pot odds… and Iiiiiiii… can’t fold a flush draw.”

Let’s see… you call a min raise with 94s from the bb.  Not terrible, I may do the same from time to time with that many people in the pot hoping to flop a monster (although most of the time it’s an instafold).  You bet out with your NINE HIGH flush draw, which is fine, you need to find out where you stand.  You get reraised AI, with another call in front of you, and you can’t fold a flush draw with 94 in your hand?  Don’t even get me started on pot odds. heheheh  he’s getting @2.2:1 (3120:1830) in the pot to chase a flush that he’s about 3.8:1 to hit (players in the hand =7 so (52-(7*2)+3)/9 = 3.8 at best (more likely about 5:1).  If he’s got AKs or even the K… maybe.  But calling this with a 94 on the first hand of a SnG?  That’s just plain donkaliscious.  These are the fuckers that I get in with the best hand against…. then lose to. 

For example:

**************************************************

PokerStars Game #6923879915: Tournament #35144066, $3.00+$0.30 Hold’em No Limit – Level IV (50/100) – 2006/11/06 – 22:44:01 (ET)
Table ‘35144066 100′ 9-max Seat #6 is the button
Seat 1: Rueger18 (8020 in chips)
Seat 2: ciggarello (345 in chips)
Seat 3: DaddyBob1 (2480 in chips)
Seat 4: FredPup37 (8315 in chips)
Seat 5: OVER THE TOP (4000 in chips)
Seat 6: DanHartman (1735 in chips)
Seat 7: snap46 (3175 in chips)
Seat 8: mrvan555 (7295 in chips)
Seat 9: stankhat (4840 in chips)
snap46: posts small blind 50
mrvan555: posts big blind 100
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to stankhat [Ah Jh]
Rueger18 said, “22″
stankhat: raises 300 to 400 <– I had raised 4 out of the last 8-10 hands or so and won each time without showing.  I’m sure that people are starting to think that I’m full of it by now.
Rueger18: folds
ciggarello: folds
DaddyBob1: folds
FredPup37: folds
OVER THE TOP: calls 400 <– I put him on a similar Ax hand or a mid pair here.
DanHartman: folds
snap46: folds
mrvan555: folds
*** FLOP *** [9d As 4d] <– Not the greatest for me, but not horrible either.
stankhat: bets 900
OVER THE TOP: raises 900 to 1800 <– this min raise here made me think that he was just trying to push me out – it just felt weak to me.  He’s seen me raise a bunch without having to show anything and he thinks that I’m making a standard c-bet.  It’s early and I’m looking to build a stack so I’m going to let him know that I have a hand and I push overtop.
stankhat: raises 2640 to 4440 and is all-in
OVER THE TOP: calls 1800 and is all-in
*** TURN *** [9d As 4d] [Kd]
*** RIVER *** [9d As 4d Kd] [2d]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
stankhat: shows [Ah Jh] (a pair of Aces)
OVER THE TOP: shows [6d 6h] (a flush, King high) —> 66? this guy fucking calls me with 66?  Don’t get me wrong, I WANT a call here by 66, but as soon as I see the diamond on the turn I know what’s coming on the river.   Stars rewards the ignorant with a runner runner flush to keep him happy enough that he’ll redeposit and I get the shaft. unfreakingbelievable.
OVER THE TOP collected 8150 from pot
stankhat said, “obv”
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 8150 | Rake 0
Board [9d As 4d Kd 2d]
Seat 1: Rueger18 folded before Flop (didn’t bet)
Seat 2: ciggarello folded before Flop (didn’t bet)
Seat 3: DaddyBob1 folded before Flop (didn’t bet)
Seat 4: FredPup37 folded before Flop (didn’t bet)
Seat 5: OVER THE TOP showed [6d 6h] and won (8150) with a flush, King high
Seat 6: DanHartman (button) folded before Flop (didn’t bet)
Seat 7: snap46 (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 8: mrvan555 (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 9: stankhat showed [Ah Jh] and lost with a pair of Aces

FTP $20k Gtd.

After working on the basement for about 5 hours this evening I’m ready to wind down with an mtt. For once I got started off with a bang. First hand of the tournament I get dealt KK in the CO. Two limpers and the guy to my left bumps it to 90. I repop to 250 and all 3 call it. The flop comes K43 rainbow and I’m planning on checking because the board doesn’t scare me at all and I want someone to hit something, but the first player checks, next player pushes, player to my left folds, I of course call, and the first player folds and my hand holds up and I more than double up.

6 hands later I’m looking at AQs and I call a 3x raise in front of me. The flop comes A23 all clubs, so I bet the pot and get called. The turn brings 8s, I figure the guy for a flush draw and put him in for his last 1035. Of course he has AK and I’m back down to 2k.

3 hands later I decide to call a 3x from late position with J9s. The flop comes J63 rainbow and it’s checked to the guy on my left who pushes the 490 he has left. I’m confident that I have the best hand, but I don’t want anyone else coming in so I come over top for the 2k that I have left. All fold and he shows KTo. Turn is a Q, river is an A and another idiot is rewarded while I once again take it up the ass.

4 hands later I get KK again and make my standard 4x pfr. I get one caller and the flop comes 223. I bet the pot and take it down, but I’m down to freaking 1,495 in chips.

I get AQo in the small blind. UTG+1 makes it 175, UTG+2 makes it 500, UTG+3 calls, I have no choice but to fold, UTG+1 comes over top… glad I got out of the way.

I get down to 690 and I get KJs on the button. I get all my chips in and get called by AQ. I manage to suckout and hit a K on the river, but another runner runner for a straight takes me out. Unfreakingbelievable.

I can’t wait to see what kind of bullshit happens to me in the $10+1 that I have starting up in a few minutes.

standard… get 10 away from the money and JJ runs into QQ. gg me…